Two Sides, One Coin

I work with this guy. He's terrific - really friendly, outgoing, self-confident. He's a great conversationalist and often adds a lot of energy and life to projects.

That's when he's at his best.

When he's not doing so well, he can be a bit loud, boisterous, pushy and overbearing.

And why shouldn't he be? These are the same qualities as the first list. Only these are the "dark side."

In fact, in the majority of cases, someone's greatest strengths are also his or her greatest challenges. Someone who is sweet and attentive can at times be too much-so, and annoying. Someone who is ambitious and goal-oriented can also be aggressive and overly-competitive. Someone who's generally very agreeable and willing to give others their way can come across as weak, timid and a pushover.

Start noticing this phenomena and I'm sure you'll see that it's true almost every time.

So besides being a very interesting aspect of human behavior to observe, what use is this information?

LOTS!

We all have a "dark side;" we all have a good one, too. (At least I hope we all do.) And it's good to recognize this in our personal and professional relationships, right from the start. If we can see the people we interact with more realistically, we will be better prepared to communicate with them in the most appropriate and effective manner available.

In the previous post, I suggested we should learn to "be a detective." This is an ideal example. If we are hoping to make a meaningful connection with another person, how useful will it be to understand as quickly as possible the best we can expect from them, and the worst?

Of course, this knowledge also helps us to be more compassionate with others when they're not exhibiting their most impressive qualities. We can remind ourselves that the annoying, hurtful or offensive behavior we're currently experiencing is offset by some outstanding traits.

We all have two sides. It's good to know them both.